[Beav]

Originally posted by svxistentialist


The small windows are to stop people climbing in to steal the expensive stereo.

Tell them the windows are small enough to keep cops from smelling alcohol on your breath. (Thanx Joe )

Call the engine a flat six, they will think Porsche. Tell them instead it's a boxer six, keep them confused.

Tell them it's a boxer, like so many Ferraris.

If Steve's old lady is back asking who made the Subaru, tell her the nice people at Mount Fuji Industries in Japan, and that it is four-wheel-drive to cope with the snow on top.

Tell them it's built by Phooey Industries, a Japanese company owned by Ford. Add that it's really a 2003 Pinto.

The roof and trunk lid are painted in Stealth Black to confuse police helicopter thermal cameras.

The windows are titanium coated as an anti-UV device to keep occupants safe from harmful police radar radiation.

Not to mention it keeps you safe from being abducted by aliens. (damned NAFTA...) Otherwise known as the Bert Campbell feature.

And there are no cupholders for safety, the car is for driving, not for sitting in traffic queues.

Just like there were no ashtrays in the Bricklin SV-1. Safety was such an issue for Malcolm Bricklin that he was compelled to further champion the safety cause by importing the Yugo.