So, yeah...I think my life is over...
 

After 8yrs and 2 beautiful children, the women I love more than anyone, that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with, wants a "separation". Yeah, I'm not handling it too well. Emo-trainwreck would be a good way to describe me right now.:(

She's says she needs time to "find herself", and determine if I'm the one she wants to be with. It may be a week, a month...or never.

As far as I'm concerned, this is the most selfish thing someone could do to someone they "love". I realize some people need their space, need to find themselves. But, as usual, she's not even considering what she's doing to me, that she's taking everything I hold dear away from me. Besides, I don't really see that it will be any different than it has been for the last several months, when she hasn't been able to give me more than a few hours of her time each week.

I'm a very black or white person (which she's says is one of the things that bothers her), you either love someone, or you don't. And at least if she said it was over for good, I could start picking up the pieces of my life, not left hanging in limbo. Hell, even if she says she does want to be with me in the future, I don't know if I can do it anymore, not after this.

Sorry to be such I downer, but I really have no one to talk to about this (again, thanks to her), and it's killing me. So, anyone have any words of wisdom for a shattered man? Besides beer of course, I've already come to that conclusion...:(:(:(

all i can say i'm sorry to hear to what you're going through. i don't like to see people in pain. :(

Beer is not a solution, only a bandaid.

Have you had a chance to talk about everything and determine how she came up with this decision?

Is there possibly another person in the picture?

A few of us here have gone through similar situations before and maybe they can shed some advise on what to do.

You never refer to her as your wife so I'm assuming you're not married. Perhaps that's the problem...or that's her way of getting you to commit?

I find that strippers are good listeners :D

I'm sorry for what happened and what I said above is actually true. They are cheaper than a counselor and do listen well and will talk with you.


Go in to the strip bar on a slow night like a Monday or Tuesday. For a little tip money, you have a tempary friend to talk to.

Coming from an alcoholic family, I fully realize this. However, I need a banaid right now.

Yes and no. This has been brewing for months (started on election night, actually), and I'm definitely one to express myself, so we've talked a lot. I think I know why she's unsure of her feelings of me, which basiclly involves a vicious cycle between my severe temper and her complete lack of responsibility, but even that excuse changes frequently. That, plus she's no longer attracted to me because I've gained a lot of weight over the last several years, due to my injury and change in careers. However, I have not yet found out why she seems unwilling to try to work through it together, by either counseling or whatever.

Entirely possible. She did admit to me that several weeks ago that she went out to lunch with a guy from her gym, but that absolutely nothing happened. If there is someone else, I doubt she would ever admit it. My prior girlfriend before her cheated on me, and I told her that if she ever did that to me, no matter the circumstances, we were through. I'd like to say that I know her well enough that she wouldn't do that, but she's just been gone so much lately with no real reason.

Married six years this past January. It's just too hard to call her my wife right now, considering.

Problem with that. I live in Maine. Most of the few strip clubs we had to begin with have been shut down by the "righteous" politicians. I think we have 2 left now. One's in the sticks, and it's filled with toothless, redneck skanks. The other's in "The City", and their strippers aren't very...personable.

Thanks Shelf, I truly appreciate it. I really need some more friends like you in my life, if you get my drift. The two I've had throughout my life, were two of the best people I've ever been able to talk with about stuff like this.:)

i am getting a drift and i assume it's the same one your sending. feel free to pm me if you want. :)

God, I don't know if I can do this. I just tucked my daughters in, and my oldest asked me if I was going to be home tomorrow, and I didn't know what to say. I just said yes, and left before I broke down. I know she only meant if I had to work, but it's still one of the hardest things I've ever had to do in my life.:(

I know what you are going through.

It is a dangerous mixture of feelings.

It will take time, but things will get better, if you let it.

It might get worse before it gets better, but if you let it it will get better.

Tom.

I think I'm only making things worse right now. I'm listening to Journey. Yeah, you heard me, Journey. :rolleyes: :D

I have been through this twice, and it drives me nuts!! She is just being selfish right now and if they are gone and seem distant, there probably is someone else. I don't know what to say right now other than feel bad for you and feel your pain. When kids are involved, that is the worse part. You need to be strong for them. They will need you more now than ever. If you ever need to talk, PM me and I will try to help. :(

Wow, and i thought i was the only going through something similar to this right now. I was feeling badly for myself after a nearly 4 year relationship but, now i feel better (sorry it has to be at your expense) im just realizing that now i should be thankful this happened before we were married or had anything like children, we have cats and thats tough. I'm guessing this is going to be one of those things where if it is meant to be it will happen... I mean i was larry's first girlfriend i understand he needs his space, I hope for me and u "evil jeff" that both of them find themselves before they lose what is great in their lives...

Jen

Glad im still young and cute :rolleyes:

I don't think I'm one to give advice, but I've been in much, much darker places with my wife, and we did manage to work things out.


Lust and desire will always bring new things to the table, but after time it all becomes the same anyway.

I hope you can come to a resolve, and I WILL see you at Tri-state RIGHT? ;)

Oh, I guess that kinda answers my guestion on the other thread :o

Well in that case........How's it going babe?

J/K. :D I hope to see both of you at Tri-state then. ;)