Found another funny, Military
 

http://uk.download.yahoo.com/ne/fu/attachments/list.doc

Kiss 30 minutes goodby

Collins
I did some of these 20 years ago, aparently, it's still not a good idea

Hahaha Yea some of those are pretty funny... and some of them I just didn't understand all that well :rolleyes:

20. Must not taunt the French any more.
21. Must attempt to not antagonize SAS.
22. Must never call an SAS a 'Wanker'.


damn funny

35. Not allowed to sing 'High Speed Dirt' by Megadeth during airborne operations. ('See the earth below/Soon to make a crater/Blue sky, black death, I'm off to meet my maker')

i used to love this song.

43. Camouflage body paint is not a uniform.
49. Not allowed to trade military equipment for 'magic beans'.
52. Not allowed to yell 'Take that Cobra' at the rifle range.
53. Not allowed to quote 'Full Metal Jacket ' at the rifle range.

(i quote full metal jacket all the time :()
63. Command decisions do *not* need to be ratified by a 2/3 majority.

going to finish the list after i get home. hey ww, check your pm.

LMAO!!!

These are all hilarious! Some of my favorites so far....

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.
4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

6. Not allowed to play 'Pulp Fiction' with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

One of my crazy partners in crime and I used to run around quoting that movie ALL THE TIME! Used pellet pistols in our act too if we were really out of it. :D

he he he he :D

26. Never tell a German soldier that 'We kicked your ass in World War 2!'

29. The Irish MPs are not after 'Me frosted lucky charms'.

31. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.
32. Not allowed to let sock puppets take command of my post.

:D :D :D

Flashback to the mid 70s (I got out in 1976). Had a friend (last name Morris - an E-3 from a little town outside Columbia SC) who found a couple while trying to convince the Air Force that they didn't want him to serve out the rest of his enlistment. Keep in mind for the end of this that we were in the Security Forces and we carried loaded guns when on duty.

They don't think it's funny if enlisted only salute enlisted and ignore the officers (especially if it's the Navy's 7th Fleet Commander while visiting Charleston AFB, and after having a few drinks at the O Club).

They don't like it if you lean over, put your eye socket on someone's shoulder (eye closed of course) and say, "Better get your Sh#t together Boy, I got my eye on you." This went over as pretty funny until said in a SC drawl to a black 2nd Lt.

When the weather report says 0% chance of precip, they aren't amused at inspection to find you in a full rain suit.

They don't like creative attachments to uniforms, like wearing a medal when in fatigues (BDUs for the younger military generation). Especially if it's for a medal you didn't earn or belongs to another country's military.

And last, but not least (this is what finally got his ticket punched): They aren't amused if, as you caress your M-16, you wonder out loud if it could bring down an aircraft during takeoff.

All the above are true (witnessed by me). He was relatively harmless and reasonably sane, just wanted out.

That dude is funny. I found myself saying that all the time. Except instead of an aircraft it's the helicopters flying around Atlanta. Whether a police, news, or military helicopter flying too low or near me, I always say out loud, what I wouldn't give for a stinger missle now. People often get a baffled and slightly shocked look on their faces. I may not be sane, but it would be fun to take one down :). Especially when it's 4am and when you're trying to sleep. Bastards keep flying over your house as if looking for someone. Really irritating.

They ARE looking for someone! :D

Probably one of the many reasons I grew up to be the questionable individual I am..... when I was a little kid for whatever reason it seemed like just about every night there would be those big double bladed military helicopters flying over our house - LOUD! When I would ask my mom what they were doing flying at night, she would just calmly respond "They're looking for someone."

I didn't think anything of it at the time, but when I told my wife about this recently she thought that was a terrible thing for a mom to say to a little kid. :D