50 Crap Cars
 

Enjoy a good laugh.

I saw this book not long ago about the top 50 crap cars. I found it so funny, I had to buy it. So I got bored today (Wasn't feeling too good:( ) and typed up the 50 crap cars. I also wrote the funny comment the author had to say about each one. If you're bored and need something to read this would be the book.:)

50. Porsche 924 (1976-1985) "If this car was...a real Porsche, Michael Jackson was a real white guy."
49. BMW 318i (1984) "If this car was...anymore of a con, they'd put it in jail."
48. Jaguar XJS-C (1988) "If this car was...better looking, it might have been quite nice."
47. Cadillac ETC (2000-2002) "If this car was...merging onto a freeway, there isn't a chance in hell it would see you."
46.Merkur Scorpio (1987-1989) "if this car was...a movie, it would be 'Lost in Translation'.
45. Volvo 262C (1977-1981) "If this car was... in your dreams, they'd change your medication."
44. Nissan NX (1991-1993) "If this car was... such a good idea why'd they stop making it?"
43. GM EV1 (1996-1999) "If this was...blessed with any less range, they might as well have left it plugged in."
42. Jaguar XJ6 (1987-1994) "If this car was...your favorite Jaguar, you don't know much about Jaguars."
41. Oldmobile Toronado Trofeo (1989) "If this car was...to get its own computer to write this bit, it would say:;BQA43R;OUJ\SD'AK,F."
40. Ferrari 400 (1976-1979) "If this car was... and actual horse, you'd shoot it."
39. Sterling 825/827 (1987-1991) "If this car was...trying any harder to be british, it'd be Madonna."
38. Rolls-Royce Camargue (1975-1986) "If this car was...to prove one thing, it's that even the super rich have a sense of humor."
37. Delorean DMC-12 (1981-1983) "If this car was...a real time machine, maybe the British Government could get their money back."
36. AMC/Renault Alliance (1983-1988) "If this car was...weather, it would be drizzle."
35. Chrysler Imperial (1990) "If this car was...any more overdesigned, it would callapse."
34. Maserati BiTurbo (1984-1994) "If this car was...sold without a steering wheel, it could barely have been less erratic."
33. Triumph TR7 (1975-1981) "If this car was...a 'triumph,' imagine what a failure would look like."
32. Nissan 300ZX (1984-1989) "If this car was...any porkier, you'd roast it."
31. Aston Martin Lagonda (1976-1985) "If this car was.. any more angular, it's have square wheels."
30. Subaru XT (1985-1991) "If this car was...any weirder, they'd put it in the nuthouse."
29. Chrysler TC by Maserati (1989-1991) "If this car was...a real Maserati, it would have been even more badly made".
28.Ford EXP (1982) "If this car was...any more eighties, it's come with free leg warmers".
27. Hummer H1 (1993-2002) "if this car was...any bigger, you could see it from space".
26. Renault Fuego (1982-1987) "If this car was...sporty, Gérard Depardieu is a pinup."
25. Volkswagen Fox (1987-1993) "If this car was...a real fox, it's be flea-bitten, mangy, and infected with rabies."
24. Datsun B210 (1974-1978) "If this car was...anything, it was AAA's best friend."
23. Chrysler K-car (1981-1989) "If this car was...a savior, my God, standards have dropped since Christ's time."
22. Chevrolet Camaro Berlinetta (1979) "If this car was...any weaker, it wouldn't be able to move."
21. Pontiac Fiero2M4 (1984) "If this car was...red when you bought it, you'd better learn to like pink."
20. Geo Metro Convertible (1990-1993) "If this car was...any smaller, you'd lose it down a drain."
19. Hyundai Excel (1986-1989) "If this car was...any more depressing, it'd have to come with free prozac."
18. MGB (1962-1980) "If this car was...any more old-fashioned, the instruction book would be in hieroglyphics."
17. Dodge Dakota Convertible (1989-1990) "If this car was... any dumber, it'd have full-time nursing supervision."
16. Chevrolet Citation (1980-1985) "If this car was...to offer you anything, it would be a nervous breakdown."
15. AMC Gremlin (1970-1978) "If this car was...a movie, it would be 'Dude, Where's the Rest of my Car?'
14. Suzuki Samurai (1987-1989) "If this car was..a kid's bicycle, it'd still be fitted with training wheels."
13. Cadillac Cimarron (1982-1988) "If this car was...a cavalier, you'd have paid a lot less, dumbass."
12. Renault Le Car (1972-1985) "If this car was...the best they could do, no wonder Renault doesn't sell cars in America anymore".
11. Ford Pinto (1971-1980) "If this car was...good for one thing, it would be lighting cigars."
10. Pontiac Aztek (2001) "if this car was...to have a home address, it's be ugly ave in the ugly quarter of uglytown."
9. Suzuki X90 (1996-1998) "If this car was...in a list of bad ideas, it's be just above new Coke."
8. Chevrolet Lumina APV (1990) "If this car was...the future, we eouldn't be here right now."
7. Cadillac Seville (1978-1982) "If this car was...to prove one thing, it's that smoking is bad for you."
6. Chevrolet Vega (1971-1977) "If this car was...only a little bit rusty, it was still on the production line."
5. Volkswagen Beetle (1945-1979) "If this car was...in your kitchen, you'd step on it."
4. Dodge Rampage (1982-1984) "If this car was...any worse, you'd have puked on this page by now."
3. AMC Pacer (1975-1980) "If this car was...a cartoon, it's be teenage mutant mangy turtle."
2. Yugo GV (1985-1991) "If this car was...all you could afford, have you considered prostitution?"
1. Ford Mustang II (1974) "If this car was...any more crap, it's have flies buzzing around it."

The Fiero is definitely true. Mine isn't red, but I've seen many that were pink. :D

Hey... they stole your line :mad:

this was the first car of my aunt who is only 7 years older than me. when i was nine, she taught me how to use the gearbox while she manipulated the clutch. fond memories.... :D

this was the first car i actually drove in a parking lot circa 1981. i don't get the quote though.

this is the first car i legally drove. when it was time to replace my mom's 1971 toyota corolla in 1984, the cimarron beat out my vote for the honda accord, and mom's vote for the toyota cressida. i even remember telling my stepdad he bought an overpriced chevy cavalier. he still doesn't know i put the big gouge in the passenger door when trying to park it. :D

this was my actual first car. again, i don't get the quote. does any remember hyundai's orignal slogan in the u.s.?

hyundai. cars that make sense.

after it got sammiched, stepdad called it:

hyundai. cars that go crunch. :(

my family sure picked out some winners. crazy shelfys. :(

Or did I steal it from them?:p

My family has also owned several of these cars too. Heck, I still have the Fiero.

nice

i never knew geo had a convertible model...i want one so bad... :D be a perfect candidate for a v-8 swap :eek: ,,,, or weld some safety bars and see how many times you can flip it. my personal goal in life is to flip a geo metro someday. i got it all planned out!!! :D