CAUTION! Dangers of garden snakes!
 

Garden Snake

ALWAYS THOUGHT GARDEN SNAKES WERE OK?

READ ON........

Green Garden Grass snakes can be dangerous, Yes, grass
snakes, not rattlesnakes.

A couple in Sweetwater, Texas had a lot of potted plants,
and during a recent cold spell,
the wife was bringing a lot of them indoors to protect
them from a possible freeze. It turned out that a little
green garden grass snake was hidden in one of the plants
and when it had warmed up, it crawled out and the wife
saw it go under the sofa. She let out a very loud scream.

The husband who was taking a shower ran out into the living
room naked to see what the problem was.
She told him there was a snake under the sofa.
He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look for
it.

About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed him on
the butt.

He thought the snake had bitten him and he fainted.

His wife thought he had a heart attack,
so she called an ambulance. The attendants rushed in and
loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and
the Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped
his end of the stretcher. That's when
the man broke his leg and why he is in the hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house,
so she called on a neighbor man.
He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself with a
rolled-up newspaper and began poking around under the couch.

Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman,
who sat down on the sofa in relief.
But in relaxing, her hand dangled in between the
cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around.
She screamed and fainted, the snake
rushed back under the sofa, and the neighbor man, seeing
her laying there passed out tried to use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at
the grocery store, saw her husband's mouth on the
woman's mouth and slammed her husband in the back of
the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out and
cutting his scalp to a point where it needed stitches. An
ambulance was again called and it was determined
that the injury required hospitalization.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she saw
her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over him,
so she assumed he had been bitten by the snake.
She went to the kitchen, brought back a bottle of
whiskey, and began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived. They saw the unconscious
man, smelled the whiskey, and assumed that a drunken
fight had occurred.

They were about to arrest them all, when the two women
tried to explain how it all happened over a little green snake.
They called an ambulance, which took away the neighbor and his sobbing wife.

Just then the little snake crawled out from under the
couch. One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.
He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table that was on
one side of the sofa. The table fell over and
the lamp on it shattered and as the bulb broke, it started
a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames and fell
through the window into the yard on top of the family dog,
who startled, jumped up and raced out into the street,
where an oncoming car swerved to avoid it and smashed
into the parked police car and set it on fire.
Meanwhile the burning drapes had spread to the walls and
the entire house was blazing.

Neighbors had called the fire department and the arriving
fire-truck had started raising his ladder as they were
halfway down the street. The rising
ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out the
electricity and disconnected the telephones in a
ten-square city block area.

Time passed -----------------
Both men were discharged from the hospital,
the house was re-built, the police acquired a new car, and
all was right with their world -------

About a year later they were watching TV and the weatherman
announced a cold snap for that night.
The husband asked his wife if she thought they should
bring in their plants for the night.

She shot him.

Sweet. Almost as big a waste of time as my green golf balls thing (try searching it. I dunno where I put it)