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-   -   o/t frustration (https://www.subaru-svx.net/forum/showthread.php?t=7466)

subafan 12-09-2002 08:07 PM

o/t frustration
 
there's a member on the network who's been harassing me about the fact that i look for affordable alternatives to mod my svx and that i talk about saving up money to buy parts for my svx. i don't appreciate that. not everyone on this network has a secure source of income to support maintaining a svx, and i don't feel that when a member express the thought of eventually obtaining a realistic modification that he or she should be ridiculed.

i'm a student, i don't have a steady source of income, but all the money that i've spent on my svx are money that i earned or money that i saved from what is allotted in my very limited allowance. in the 2 months i have had my svx that i bought for 3500, i have spent more than a grand in just in fixing the general problems, not to mention the money i spent on my rotors, brake lines, guages, lwin's av system, and such. i know some people don't agree with some of the mods i make (for example, the guages) and i can accept that, because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, but what crossed the line is when someone says things like why don't you get a civic and do crappy mods... or if you can't afford it now, you shouldn't talk about getting it... especially so because this came about after i declined, as a matter of personal preference, an offer of a part that member is willing to sale...

i've been very happy with the network for the short time that i've been on here, and i thought that i've acted as a responsible and decent member... i try to show people respect and i think the majority of the members here give me the common courtesy as well...

i only decided to write this thread because the pm has frustrated me to an extent (on the night before a final) that i need to vent it out....

SHISVX 12-09-2002 08:16 PM

i don't know about the other stuff, but i do wish you luck on your final, you will do fine

Kelli:)

greg 12-09-2002 08:35 PM

I have been a member here for about a year. When I first came to this sight it was fun and insightful. But as of late too have noticed an "attitude". I guess as the betwork grows it changes as well and there is little or nothing that can be done to rectify the downward spiral that has occured. I just look at everything as letters. Some letters make words and some words make sentences and so forth but for what it is worth it is just letters some better than others. I find that there is a certain sesitivity on this network that I have not found on almost any other site on the internet. Is that good? Maybe yes maybe no, but I find there are alot of people frustrated and others that are making humor out of some animosity. But all in all...you know who you are and it seems to me you have a passion. You should be applauded for the work you have done and again applauded for being frugal yet sincere enough in your love for your SVX to experiment. Why let the mere letters make words that bother you? Just look at them as letter and nothing more and enjoy the fun you are having with your car. Beleive it or not there are people here that are interrested in the work you have done and for nothing else the mods you do must have interrest to others or there would be no resposes at all. If it wasn't for our opions we would be stepford SVX owners...Good luck with school I envy you. I spent 4 years in and quit as a paralegal. I would love to back and try to get into a law school but I just can't afford to do it. Not to mention I am not even a practicing paralegal. Oh well GOOD LUCK!


-G

billisa 12-09-2002 08:36 PM

can you refuse a pm, i think so...
 
Who cares what others think about how you fix or mod your car? That's your business. If you find any cheaper ways to go, by all means, keep me posted! Many times people who can do things cheaper are also doing it smarter. Good luck on your finals.

Mr. Pockets 12-09-2002 08:47 PM

I was talking to my father-in-law over the Thanksgiving weekend about car stuff. He has a Karmann Ghia - actually he has two now, a '63 and a '71, I think. He's restoring the '63 from the frame (if you can call it that) up.

My father-in-law has always wanted a Ghia, and upon finding one probably wanted to share his experiences with other owners. He went online looking for Ghia clubs - I'd like to think that was due in no small part to my positive experiences with this Network. Finding a national group, he joined and posted about replacing some badly damaged rubber bushing with some urethane ones.

The president of the group replied to his post in a very rude fashion, apparently telling him that he was going to ruin the car and that rubber bushings were the only proper way to go. This guy's post was so offensive that my father-in-law said 'goodbye - I don't need this crap.'

I'm a stock purist, but that's a little too crazy, even for me. I hope that I've never made anybody feel put-out in that way. I don't blame him for leaving that site. I just hope we don't turn away people like him in the same way.

How do we prevent that? I don't know that we can. These forums are free to anybody who wants to join and that means we can't control what everybody says or reads.

<sigh> Growing pains, you know?

huck369 12-10-2002 06:04 AM

Don't let 'em get you down, it's just that alot of people have never had it very bad when it comes to funding, I myself grew up with a disabled father, so we never had any money, everything I've ever gotten,...I had to work to get it.
I've got to a point in my life that I can breath (a little), but never expect to have disposable funds to blow, so I do my own work, cutting corners when I can......am I cheap?.....Yep, but I appreciate everything I've got, and keep it in the best shape I can.

If that bothers somebody.......oh well, they'll have to get over it, unless THEY want to fund my Projects, or mods.

My 2 cents:rolleyes:

SVX10 12-10-2002 07:34 AM

ATTITUDE?!?!
 
What are you TALKING about? There's no attitude here at all. If you're getting upset about stupid PM's, then you're an up tight little whiner:D :D :D Just kidding y'all. What I would say is that this site has gotten popular enough that we're starting to get some people with the "my way or the highway" attitude. Fahgettabowdem! I was one of the ones who posted "against" the guages, but I hope I didn't come across as condeming those who have them. I always try to compliment people on what they've done with their cars, because I know that they like what they've done. The worst thing is to have a mod done and have somebody take a shot at it, because that mod is a personal statement via your car, and by insulting it, they're really insulting you and your tastes. ie...I'm at a car wash cleaning my SVX when some idiot in a 4 banger Altima pulls up next to me and starts drying his car. He's talkin about how he's gonna make his Altima more powerful than his mom's 03 Maxima. Then he looks at my car and starts talkin about it and askin' about the mods and then telling me all this exhaust tech stuff that I learned about 2 years ago on this network, but just to be polite I act like I'm learning something. Then he busts out with "Nice rims...what size are they?" "18's" "Oh, they're pretty nice, but they don't look like 18's" "Pardon me...don't look like 18's??? Whatever dude...if you were a rim you'd only be a 13". Yea...take THAT! *Klobber*" Sooo, that's not how it really ended, but that's how it SHOULD have ended ;) So, in conclusion (take that 9th grade English teacher), do what you like and forget the stupid idiots that think everybody elses cars should be just like theirs.

Mr. Pockets 12-10-2002 08:30 AM

Re: ATTITUDE?!?!
 
Quote:

Originally posted by SVX10
I was one of the ones who posted "against" the guages, but I hope I didn't come across as condeming those who have them.
Is that what this is about??? Well, subafan, I apologize if I sounded harsh. I don't think that I did, but I guess it's possible.

Anyway, I can't say that I agree with Matt. If somebody asks me what I think of something that they've done to their car, and I don't like it, I'm gonna tell 'em.

Typically, that person then gets defensive and mad at me. Well, if they're happy with their car now, that's just swell. I don't have to like it, and you've got to expect that I might not if you ask for my opinion.

Green1995SVX 12-10-2002 09:02 AM

HAHAHA Mat! Thank you so much for the laugh. I need more and more of those as finals progress. You're the best!

Still LMAO,
Mike

CigarJohnny 12-10-2002 09:35 AM

Many people here will express an honest like or dislike on something when you ask for their opinions. very few, however would take it upon themselves to harrass someone for the way they maintain or modify their SVX. If someone is PMing you with harrassing messages just block the jerk or put him/her on your ignore list. While my personal taste may differ from another's, I would never condemn one for what they do with their car. It is, after all, their car!

As far as being tight on finances, I understand exactly where you are coming from. I was forced to find a new career while in my mid thirties and am basically starting my life over again as if I just got out of college. The only difference is that I never went to college and have a wife and 2 kids to support. While at this time I am not needing for anything but there is little money for the extras in life such as mods to my cars or upgrades to my computer. Any repairs I can make to my car will be done by me to save money and any mods I do to it will be done on a shoe string budget and with stuff I already have lying around. I consider myself to be a real "McGyver" when it comes to mods and repairs but they always work and look good. Never take it to heart when one more fortunate than you scoffs at what you can or cannot afford to do to your car or anything else in your life. You are to be commended for doing the best you can with what little you may have! As far as any direction the SVX group here may be heading, I have yet to find an nicer overall group of people anywhere and am damn glad to be associated with them. Don't give up on the rest of us because of a few bad apples. ;)

$VX 12-10-2002 09:49 AM

FYI, I'm not PMing him, in case anyone was thinking that. I think that anybody should do whatever they want; on the same token, I think that EVERYONE here has a right to express their opinions... so in this 'indiglo' situation, I think Subafan can get all excited about them, post about them, and be proud of them. On the other hand, I think that I can post my opinion about them. Its discussion. And I'm glad we disagree... if we all agreed chances are all of our cars would look exactly the same and wouldn't that be boring. :| What I can't stand are the people who think 'disagreeing' is 'fighting'. It isn't. You can have a difference in opinion with out it being like that. For instance, if Subafan stopped by my place and couldn't get his guages hooked up, I'd help him out. I've done indiglos before, and I have the knowledge to help out. I just don't like them on MY car.

Opinions are good, especially if they're your OWN opinions, and not a conglomerate of everyone else's.

- Ca$h

Aredubjay 12-10-2002 10:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by $VX
FYI, I'm not PMing him, in case anyone was thinking that.
Now, why on earth would ANYONE think that? [<----- Note: This is sarcasm]

Quote:

Originally posted by $VX
Opinions are good, especially if they're your OWN opinions, and not a conglomerate of everyone else's.
Now, THAT'S what I call wisdom. [<----- THIS is also sarcasm]:rolleyes:

It's your car, do what ya wanna do. I'm not a modder but, don't slam people who want to mod (or, moreso for the SVX "customize") -- except, perhaps, in jest.

If opinions are asked for, by all means, give them -- be honest, but, be tactful for heaven's sake. If they are not, leave it alone.

As Nick said, these forums are free for all, however, we cannot allow them to become A "Free-for-all." This is still a privately owned site and people who merely want to stir crap up are not going to be welcomed. And, just so you'll know, I'm not speaking to anyone in particular.

We've developed a community, here. Not just some "car site thingy," but, what I feel, is a true "community." That was my vision when I started cheerleading for this site nearly three years ago, and, I think, the vision of the others who have put their time, monies and energies into it.

So, I guess I've said all this to say, just use common sense and common courtesy. Use all those cliches we've heard all our lives (do unto others . . . how would THAT make YOU feel . . . is that REALLY necessary . . . etc), and have fun! Is that too much to ask?

sfsvx 12-10-2002 11:39 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Aredubjay

So, I guess I've said all this to say, just use common sense and common courtesy. Use all those cliches we've heard all our lives (do unto others . . . how would THAT make YOU feel . . . is that REALLY necessary . . . etc), and have fun! Is that too much to ask?

As usual, I agree with everything Randy says, especially his comments about common courtesy. Let's take an example:

Initial post: "Look at the cool polished aluminum triplane wing I stuck on my SVX!!!!!"

Response #1: "That sucks big time and anyone who would do that to an SVX is an ignorant dipstick with bad breath."

Response #2: "Hmmm . . . not really to my taste, but I'm glad you like it."

Most of the wars on this site start because the responder chose response #1. Note that both responses say essentially the same thing ("I don't like it") but also note that #2 is considerably less inflammatory than #1. There's no point in using a response like #1 unless you intend to start something. Please do that elsewhere, not here.

Subafan, I understand your frustration and hope it doesn't get to the level that you leave the network because of some nitwit. Fortunately, nitwits are in the minority here (though I don't admit to being a nitwit, I do admit to having the occasional bad day and posting something I later regret).

Aredubjay 12-10-2002 12:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dick Young
I do admit to having the occasional bad day and posting something I later regret).
Haven't we all? Fortunately, we have the ability to A) Edit our posts, B) Delete them, ourselves. A luxury we didn't have on the Yoohoo site. If you posted it there, there was no going back. :eek:

There is also a "preview reply" button that you can click before you post. Perhaps, sometimes we should preview our posts before we post them, just to make sure.

(Had I not thought better of several posts, my post count would be MUCH higher. :D )

Beav 12-10-2002 01:47 PM

I agree. There's been a few times when I've re-read my posts and bit my tongue (fingers?) and went back to either edit or completely delete them. Not that they weren't created or worded maliciously, but because they could be misconstrued semantically. I still trip over my tongue occasionally, but hey, we're all human, even me, occasionally... ;)

In regards to the bonehead pm'ing you, just refuse his/her messages. People like that only do it to get a rise out of you. Once you quit being their victim they'll move on.


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