Stand-up joke [sort of]

[svxistentialist]

Have not had a chance to post to this new forum, so thought I might kick off with a Tommy Cooper joke:D :D

"Now, most dentist's chairs go up and down, don't they? The one I was in went back and forwards. I thought 'This is unusual'.

And the dentist said to me 'Mr Cooper, get out of the filing cabinet please.'"

Joe ;)

Anybody got any good stand-up comedy jokes??:) :) :p

[JLittell]

These was a "Cheetos" joke floating around in this forum somewhere??:eek: I'm sure some can fill you in on it!

[svxistentialist]

Thanks John

Couldn't find the Cheetos joke, but here's another one anyway:

"A blind bloke walks into a shop with a guide dog. He picks the dog up and starts swinging it around his head.

Alarmed, a shop assistant calls out:
'Can I help, sir?'

'No thanks,' says the blind bloke. 'Just looking.'"


:) :)

[alacrity024]

me: it smells like updog in here..

co-worker: huh??

me: i said, it smells like UPDOG in here

co-worker: what's updog??

me: nothing G, what's up with you?

*ba dump bump*

-adam :D :rolleyes:

[svxistentialist]

OK, OK Adam

Wasssup dog indeed!!:D

Two fat guys in a bar, one says to the other, 'Your round'

First guy says, "So are you, you fat b*stard"


Boom Boom!!

[Zeppelin]

Originally posted by JLittell
These was a "Cheetos" joke floating around in this forum somewhere??:eek: I'm sure some can fill you in on it!

OooOOoOOo

:D

[JLittell]

Don't quit your day jobs!:(

[SubaSteevo]

Not a stand-up joke, but still funny

An 80 year old man is visiting his doctor when he mentions that his 20 year old wife is pregnant.
The doctor responds, "Let me tell you a story about a man who went hunting. The man had bad vision and he grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun as he left the house. Sure enough he finds a bear, aims the umbrella, and "fires." The bear drops dead."
"But that's impossible," says the old man, "someone else must have shot the bear."
"Exactly," says the doctor.

[SVX26517]

Originally posted by BurgundyBeast
Not a stand-up joke, but still funny

An 80 year old man is visiting his doctor when he mentions that his 20 year old wife is pregnant.
The doctor responds, "Let me tell you a story about a man who went hunting. The man had bad vision and he grabbed his umbrella instead of his gun as he left the house. Sure enough he finds a bear, aims the umbrella, and "fires." The bear drops dead."
"But that's impossible," says the old man, "someone else must have shot the bear."
"Exactly," says the doctor.


I get it ;) LOL

[svxistentialist]

Good one, good one.:) :D

So I am ringing up my local swimming pool.....

'Is that the local swimming pool?' I ask.

He said "It depends where you're calling from"


;) :) :D

[Subafreak]

I can't post any of the ones I know on this site.








Becouse I don't know any.